Shed Happens. Monday May 7, 2012, John Fallands Shed…
With Mother’s Day coming up this weekend, I have been thinking about gifts, flowers, kids, food and all else associated with the day. Mother’s Day makes me think of my wife and the role she has played in my life and my kid’s lives. I found these proverbs on wives…..
Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the LORD.
Proverbs 19:14 Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD. Proverbs 21:9 Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 21:19 Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife! Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the LORD.
Thinking about the high value of my wife, leanne, i find myself thinking about the high value of being a bloke. Over these last 5-6 years I have spent quite a bit of time reflecting on what it is to be a faithful man of God and spent quite a bit of time talking with all kinds of men – single, married, Christian, not Christian, younger and older. Men are different to women and we have a much needed place in God’s world.
However, often men themselves struggle to trust this. For lots of reasons so many men feel a bit lost or confused about who they are what they need to be doing. I have come across men who have totally gone into power and money and status often at the cost of their personal relationships.
I have met men who are like little children – unsure of themselves, fearful of other men because they are so unsure of themselves and so, feel intimidated by other men; unsure of how to relate to women.
I have met men who are just out for a good time – party, drink, women and etc….. A never ending cycle of substance and other abuses…. Very sad and very destructive!
But then there are other men – Men who want to be the very best they can be for their partners, and if they have children – for their children. This is so very encouraging and so very needed.
In my vocation. I see the effects Dad’s have on their children. I also relate to women who show the effects of how things are with their partners.
How good it is to see children who obviously know and love their Dad! How good it is to talk to women who are loved by their partners and who love their man!
How sad it is to see children who obviously lack contact, kindness and affection from their Dads. How painful it is to hear women speak of their partner who does not speak of show love, or just demands and demands, or will not take on board any effort to be a better man and understand his partner and himself.
So, men, it is good to get together in sheds and it is great that we are committing ourselves to be better men – and better still, faithful men of God – because only in Jesus Christ will any man be fully a man – a man of strength with compassion, thoughtfulness with decisiveness, not scared of talking about big issues and yet able to have a good laugh – because he is free in the forgiveness and kindness of God – given in the death and resurrection of Jesus – the real man, the heavenly man, the human man.
As a Father of four and husband of nearly 25 years and a bloke for 46 years – here’s what I am still learning
I need to ask for and get support and help from other men to be a better man. I need mates and I need to talk to them about stuff – often.
I need to hear and take into the heart the Word of God daily, every second day or at least weekly.
I need to overcome my natural blokey reserve when it comes to showing affection to my wife and my children often. I need to hold my wife’s hand in public more and show affection to my children – little or teenager or adult
I need to ask my wife and my kids how their day has been and tell them how mine has been.
I need to take the lead in thinking ahead for what might be best for the family – what the next holiday will be, how things will be Christmas and other extended family occasions, etc….
I need to admit my faults and say that difficult word, “sorry”, more than once a decade! to my children and to my wife.
So, we keep going, men. Keep striving to be a better man, whatever our situation, married, dovorced, widowed, single, young older, working or retired…… God calls is to put work into this enterprise of being a better man. We need to seek God for it. All us blokes carry pain and past regrets and we wonder about who we are and whether we have got what it takes. With Jesus, we have got what it takes to be his men for our families.
Jesus, thank you for all that you have given us – our families, our mates, colleagues, skills, time, work, abilities. We know all good gifts come from you. Help us to use what you have given to love our families – to love our wives, to love our friends and colleagues and our closer mates, help us to love your church community and lay down our lives for your people. help us to not make our children or younger people angryon purpose but love them, train them, be patient with them as you are with us, and teach them your Way as they grow up in our church community and our own families.
Bless these men with your Holy Spirit as they continue to seek you. Help them find you and hear you and give them all wisdom to know what to say and when to say it so that they will be your men in these times, for the world needs faithful strong and compassionate men in these times. Amen.